Jul 06 2008
Sunday Morning Thoughts
It goes without saying that we don’t live in a frugal society.
We have high definition televisions and high speed internet connections. We have Abercrombe, 24-hour drive through windows, and we have cell phones that can do everything but wash the dishes.
Stress of your job got you down? When we turn on those televisions we have advertisers paying millions of dollars with the express purpose of wanting us to buy their overpriced, low quality product to make our lives easier. Or perhaps they are offering a self-help program or a pill to make it all better.
What I want to know is what was so bad about life when it was a little tougher?
What was so wrong with a kid sneezing without an overprotective mother immediately reaching for the antibacterial soap or hand sanitizer? What was so wrong with those same kids wearing clothes that their mothers spent hours making by hand instead of the disposable cookie cutter crap that was made for pennies in China before being fluffled and folded on the department store shelf?
I long for the day when people are judged by their actions and not their attire or the car they drive. I hope for the day when children can learn to appreciate - as I did when I was a child - the beauty and miracle of growing something from a seed instead of the flash-crash-boom of some video game their parents are still paying for months after the long-forgotten holiday on which it was given.
I pray for the day when $5.00 a gallon gas isn’t seen as the end of the world, just the end of an era.
I am lucky enough to not live hand-to-mouth anymore but I remember a time when ramen noodles and the change I found in the sofa gave me breakfast and enough gas to get to work. I may not have to eat on $30 a week anymore, but I have tremendous respect for the incredible people who are able to do so and share their stores on the Internet so that others in their position can learn from them.
I may live in a home with advanced technology that is so complicated it would take an MBA to make toast but I remember when I couldn’t even afford the ugly $1.00 toaster at the thrift store in Ocala, Florida. It was 1992 - yeah, I remember it that clearly. Two weeks later on my birthday I received a toaster because that is the only thing I asked for that year.
When I joined the military a few years later I gave that toaster to a woman who was looking longingly at it at a yard sale I had. Her hip was straddled by a toddler and there was a slightly older child tagging along, clutching her mother’s finger. When she picked it up and looked at the price sticker ($.50), she paused slightly before putting it back on the table.
I remembered that pause, and I remembered wanting toast.
I’ll resume the regularly-scheduled frugal living tips tomorrow but for today I really felt the need to just talk from the heart; I didn’t think my readers would mind.
If you will excuse me, I’m going to call tech support now. I want some toast.
Wow. I remember being that mom. I have given away so much stuff over the years to people I knew needed it. As a cashier, I always kept a pocketful of change for moms who came through a few cents short. Once, the man in line behind one customer and myself put together the $2.75 for a half gallon of milk for a young single mom with two toddlers. My father said once that I would never have money because I would give it all away. I told him that there was always someone else who needed it more than I did, and that as long as that was true, he would probably be right. And he was.
Great post. I remember having no money for that toaster and having to make it in a fry pan over a fire. I remember eating “crap” as my kids now call it. It was hamburger, corn, noodles and tomato soup for diner five nights a weeek. They still to this day love it and it makes me want to, well you get the picture. They named it “crap” becasue of me. If they asked what was for dinner, I would say, “that crap again” and they took it from there.
Ah, I am glad I no longer have them days. It has been many, many years.
Amen, brotha. Amen. I’ve been there too and have made it my life’s mission to help people get out of it. Thank you for all your fabulous tips and advice. It’s good work.
Keep preaching! We are your choir!
Wow - memories. I went for a long, long time without a toaster. I used the broiler in the oven, and very rarely burnt it. I’m trying really hard to instill in my kids that they don’t need every gadget that they see their friends with. My neighbor and I often lament about the days when a cardboard box provided a whole day of entertainment, and you actually had to earn the goodies you got. It made ‘things’ more meaningful. It gets hard though, especially when we’ve got people constantly buying them crap that they don’t need.
I’ll admit though, I kinda like the GPS on my phone. I have a terrible sense of direction.
Wow, I have been on this road for ten years. In the beginning I made toast on a fork in front of a fire. Now I have a toaster, praise be to freecycle, I got it this year.
I want to say thank you for that post. It reminds me others have struggled as I do. What hurts is when people sneer because I have so many kids. You don’t see many that are as open and heart felt about their own past as this post.
You are a talented writer with a wonderful ability to evoke a reader to tears. I hope someday I am “out of this” and get on my feet. I have worked hard for these past ten years. I have a home, and a car, and don’t owe money on either. (Although the car doesn’t work right now). To me this is a major accomplishment. I only hope things get better. That I can help my kids through college a little.
As a mother that regularly puts in 10 hour work days, on top of home schooling, and writing, I still find time to sew up to eight dresses in a weekend for my four daughters. I even made little man a pair of pants and booties to match. Every holiday they get a homemade outfit or crochet mittens and a hat. They sometimes even get homemade candy when I can afford it. Some years we buy them brand new toys and some years the rest of the family buys so much there is no need. (Thank God for Uncles and Aunties)
Your post hit home. Thanks again.
Wow!
Who knew that the only post on this website that doesn’t have a frugal living tip would be the one that got the most comments!
I want to thank each of you for taking the time to respond. It helps me to know that so many other people share my frustrations about the world around me.
I think I may make this sort of post a regular occurrence around here,
Excellent post Michael. I have been there as well although initially it was self inflicted because I ran away when I was young. I remember rigging up a toaster with a coat hanger on the stove.
As for cookies, my twelve year old daughter is already a skilled baker and makes several types of cookies.
That hand sanitizer can be dangerous and there are occasional occurrences of kids that actually got drunk off it after ingesting it when nobody was looking.
I’m not suggesting we all roll around in the dirt but I’m a believer in the hygiene hypothesis. Early exposure to germs and other children can actually strengthen your immune system.